i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Randomize
