She is in my trunk
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
