Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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