I hate your face
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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