i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize