Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
