Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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