I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
