Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
