he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
