FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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