There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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