): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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