So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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