I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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