We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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