So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
