So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
