Fuck appropriateness.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
