I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
