You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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