you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
