I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
