I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
