he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize