Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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