I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
