True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
