We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize