Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
