we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize