Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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