I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
