Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
