and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
