i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
