Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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