I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
