U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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