This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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