his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
