I think I am morally bankrupt
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
