nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
