Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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