My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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