So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
