I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
