i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
