I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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