so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
