their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
