dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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