i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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