Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
