Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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